Old Yellers and Young Yellers

Today I was yelled at by two different patrons.

The first one I fielded a complaint against because he was blatantly perusing porn sites with kids running all around, and he wasn't being discreet at all. I asked him to be aware that this is a public building and there are kids who can plainly see what he's viewing, so to behave in a more responsible manner. He huffed at me. I don't like being huffed at, and you know what? I have the power to make him miserable, so I decided to look into this matter a little closer.

It turns out that the person logged into this computer was a 55-year-old woman. No, not by a long shot. I suspected this was his mother's card, so I searched the phone number to figure out if she had a son who was this kid's age. Surprise, surprise. She has a 15-year-old son with mondo fines on his account, rendering his card unusable to check items out or to use the computer to peruse porn sites. Tsk, tsk.

I shut his computer down, but I prefaced it with an instant message letting him know that I was ending his turn because he was using someone else's card, which we don't allow.

Little shit. If he hadn't been such a pain in my ass, he might have coasted on this, but because he drew attention to himself and then gave me attitude, there was no leniency.

It's really amusing when 15-year-old boys who want to look at porn get all defensive when I tell them they can't use their mommy's card to do it.

We went round and round about why you can't use someone else's card, even when it's your mommy's. He had the nerve to proudly claim to be of a righteous age to be using the unfiltered, adult computers and tried to tell me I couldn't take his computer away. HAH! Watch me. I don't care how old you are and how well you think you know our policies, but if I catch you using someone else's card, I will put a stop to it. His voice started getting louder as he argued with me, and I was preparing to ask him to leave when he asked me a question that almost made me laugh out loud.

He asked a loaded question about if I'd let him use her card if she was there.

I said sure, if your mom wants to sit with you at the computer and watch what it is you're working on, then yes, the two of you can use the card together.

Wouldn't that be sweet? Mommy and son porn viewing? Isn't that its own little fetish anyway?

His pimply, indignant face turned bright red and he stomped off. I fully expected him to stop off at another staff area to report me for denying him his god-given right to view porn using his mommy's library card, but he walked right into the washroom instead.

I don't think for one second that he was jerking off in there because I think I did an ample job of killing his good time, but I do think he might have been close to tears.

Teens. Don't they understand they don't have the wits and reasoning to talk themselves out of their misdeeds?

On the other end of the age spectrum was an old man who wanted to check out our copy of the Chase's Calendar of Events. Sorry, but that's a reference book, which we actually keep at our desk because only we end up using it. He insisted we should have a copy he could check out. I explained we did own two copies, one for Youth and one for Adult, but they were both reference copies and he was welcome to make copies out of it if need be. He got this look of intensity on his face and he just stared at me, as if he could mentally will me to give him the book. Not to be intimidated, I started right back at him.

Finally he started name dropping. He asked if one of the other ladies in our department was around. Lucky for me, she's on vacation, and when I told him this he went right back to staring at me. Eventually he started telling me about how she once gave him an older copy of a Chase's, a 2005 he though he recalled, because he is associated with her through an organization they both participate in. Okay. That's nice for you. When I explained that that was a very generous thing she had done, that it was not our policy to hold or save out-of-date books for any individual or organization, and our 2007 copy was long ago discarded, he went back to staring intensely at me.

It was right around then that his level of animation skyrocketed and he began wildly announcing that we shouldn't keep a book like this in reference, that people like him needed it and couldn't continually be making copies out of it, and we weren't being fair.

I took a deep breath and reminded him that since he was looking for handouts of an older copy anyway, he would likely find a decent used copy on Amazon if he was willing to pay a reduced cost for it.

Guess what. He wasn't willing to pay for a used copy. Looking it up shows me they have used copies of the 2007 Chase's for as little as $2.

It's crazy what people seem to think they're entitled to. You give someone a few services for free (book lending, computer access) and they think there should be no end to the generosity of a library's services.

Some days I feel like my seat at the reference desk is viewed by the patrons as their personal dunk tank.

There is a tiny bit of satisfaction I get, though, when they throw that bullseye pitch at the target and I don't get dunked -- they do.

Okay, it's more than a tiny bit of satisfaction. It's what makes my day's worthwhile.