Her breath smelled like diarrhea.
More precisely, it was like bad morning breath and sour coffee mixed with stomach acid, which made sense because she burped about every 10 seconds, and each belch brought the pungent odor up and out of her, aimed directly at my nose as she conversed with me. Each time she burped I had to hold my breath, and I found myself ready to pass out rather quickly because she was burping often.
I’m guessing she had reflux, but I’d just like to rent a billboard and make a gigantic sign that asks people with heartburn to chew gum, suck on mints, or brush their teeth more frequently, because I really don’t want to smell what they had for their last meal, mixed with bile and rotting cells from their esophagus. As someone who has had heartburn in my life, I have been inordinately conscientious about making sure my agony isn’t shared with others. Has no one else’s face ever melted when she speaks to them? I cannot be the first.
Of course, she had a very detailed project she and her husband were working on, so I had to spend an enormous amount of time with them. Taking steps back just caused them to take steps forward. Short of asking her not to speak (or burp) in my direction, there wasn’t much more I could do to thwart the odor from invading my vulnerable olfactory neurons. It’s times like these that make me believe I short-change some of our patrons because I just cannot tolerate their smell. I soul-searched after I sent them away empty-handed, wondering if her breath had been less offensive, would I have given her different service. Hopefully not, but I know for a fact that I was desperate to get away from her. How much hot diarrhea breath being burped up multiple times a minute can one person be expected to take?
There are times when I think Michael Jackson’s public masks aren’t quite as foolish as I once thought.
Why do people skip brushing their teeth if they drink coffee in the morning? Coffee is not a substitute for scrubbing the old food and bacteria from your mouth. This is a frequent occurrence on Saturday mornings. It’s as if they need their coffee first thing, and then decide that the hot acidic drink has flushed the foulness from their mouth. Nay! It has not! Coffee only cooks the bad stuff and makes it riper!
Another billboard I need to make: Coffee doesn’t cure your bad breath – it ripens it.
Do you think people know this and do it purposefully?
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2 comments:
>.< I feel your pain... We should not have to deal with these people if we don't want to.
Considering how Customer Service has gone down the drain and how the customer is Not always right anymore, why can't we be rude and beligerant to those we wish would go away like the people at gas stations or worst buy?
You must keep some breath mints handy at the desk and be insistent about offering the to these Saturday Morning diarrhea-breathing monsters!
"Care for a mint?"
"No, thanks"
"No, really! I inSIST!"
Glad I work behind the scenes and not out in the public area.
Makes me think of that commercial where the woman is sitting on a plane or bus with some guy sleeping next to her breathing in her face. She slips one of those Listerine strips into his mouth and all is well. LOL!
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