A woman approached my desk and asked for a book called Two Patriot Generals.
I thought to myself that it was a lame title, and one I was not familiar with, so I went fishing around in my catalog and at Amazon. No hits.
She was positive it was called Two Patriot Generals, though she was not sure whether it was Two, Too, or To. There was no way she was wrong about the words Patriot and Generals, though. She wrote it down!
Still no help.
She couldn't remember what it was about or who wrote it, for she heard about it on a radio show and not much was shared about the book.
WHY, pray tell, did it inspire you to seek it out, then?!
No hits were made with "Patriot Generals" in my search terms either, but a curious title popped up on Amazon called Young Patriots, about Madison and Hamilton, and the US Constitution.
I can see how that would be so hard to remember, being the highly forgettable subject matter of the Constitution and all.
She said she must have blocked out the word "young" from the title because everyone was young back then.
They were? Even the old people were young? Because in the late 1700s, people only lived to be about 20, and then they died of young age, right? It's redundant to call them "young" patriots, because back then, everyone was young.
Right. Good excuse.
Where "generals" came from, I don't know. Alexander Hamilton never made general and James Madison had very little military experience. She just made that up.
Thankfully Amazon was able to decipher this woman's insistence on the wrong title of a book. I have never doubted that Amazon is smarter than me, but I just never knew it could make sense of nonsense.
Another woman paid a visit to our library tonight and asked me for the book Little Hurricanes. My search again rendered zip.
Long story made short is that she was in two weeks earlier and found the book, but didn't want it at the time. She did not write the title down, but was absolutely certain of two things: the cover had a picture of the ocean on it, and the word "little" was in the title. While she wasn't absolutely certain the title contained "hurricanes," she was in the 90 percentile range of certainty. However, she had no clue what it was about, who wrote it, or whether it was a newer book or an older book.
Uh-huh. I suspected it might be Little Earthquakes, but when I showed her this book, she insisted it was not right because the cover should have had an ocean on it.
No explanation about how books are routinely published with different covers would persuade her to let go of her insistence that the book had an ocean on the cover, or the fact that it almost certainly had "hurricanes" in the title along with the word she was 100% sure of, "little."
I showed her the search results in my catalog, the results I Googled, and the results in Amazon. Nothing! If Amazon can't figure it out, you're wrong, bitch!
Finally she admitted she might be wrong about the word "hurricanes." She was now only sure that the book had an ocean on the cover and the title contained the word "little."
Since we don't yet classify books based on their color or cover art, I had but one option.
Little.
For a word that means such a small amount, it's amazing to know just how many pieces of material our library alone owns which contain that word.
1,800 items.
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
Then she admitted that maybe she should do some of her own research on her own time.
I know damn well she was thinking of Little Earthquakes, but that's one thing she's going to have to figure out on her own, after hours and hours of sifting through our 1,800 items with the word "little" in the title.
Then again, since the cover of that book was not issued with a picture of the ocean on it, she might never admit she was wrong about all of it. Nor will she ever read the book she seeks.
My only consolation is that it will probably drive her completely nuts.
And that gives me a little earthquakes of pleasure.
I thought to myself that it was a lame title, and one I was not familiar with, so I went fishing around in my catalog and at Amazon. No hits.
She was positive it was called Two Patriot Generals, though she was not sure whether it was Two, Too, or To. There was no way she was wrong about the words Patriot and Generals, though. She wrote it down!
Still no help.
She couldn't remember what it was about or who wrote it, for she heard about it on a radio show and not much was shared about the book.
WHY, pray tell, did it inspire you to seek it out, then?!
No hits were made with "Patriot Generals" in my search terms either, but a curious title popped up on Amazon called Young Patriots, about Madison and Hamilton, and the US Constitution.
I can see how that would be so hard to remember, being the highly forgettable subject matter of the Constitution and all.
She said she must have blocked out the word "young" from the title because everyone was young back then.
They were? Even the old people were young? Because in the late 1700s, people only lived to be about 20, and then they died of young age, right? It's redundant to call them "young" patriots, because back then, everyone was young.
Right. Good excuse.
Where "generals" came from, I don't know. Alexander Hamilton never made general and James Madison had very little military experience. She just made that up.
Thankfully Amazon was able to decipher this woman's insistence on the wrong title of a book. I have never doubted that Amazon is smarter than me, but I just never knew it could make sense of nonsense.
Another woman paid a visit to our library tonight and asked me for the book Little Hurricanes. My search again rendered zip.
Long story made short is that she was in two weeks earlier and found the book, but didn't want it at the time. She did not write the title down, but was absolutely certain of two things: the cover had a picture of the ocean on it, and the word "little" was in the title. While she wasn't absolutely certain the title contained "hurricanes," she was in the 90 percentile range of certainty. However, she had no clue what it was about, who wrote it, or whether it was a newer book or an older book.
Uh-huh. I suspected it might be Little Earthquakes, but when I showed her this book, she insisted it was not right because the cover should have had an ocean on it.
No explanation about how books are routinely published with different covers would persuade her to let go of her insistence that the book had an ocean on the cover, or the fact that it almost certainly had "hurricanes" in the title along with the word she was 100% sure of, "little."
I showed her the search results in my catalog, the results I Googled, and the results in Amazon. Nothing! If Amazon can't figure it out, you're wrong, bitch!
Finally she admitted she might be wrong about the word "hurricanes." She was now only sure that the book had an ocean on the cover and the title contained the word "little."
Since we don't yet classify books based on their color or cover art, I had but one option.
Little.
For a word that means such a small amount, it's amazing to know just how many pieces of material our library alone owns which contain that word.
1,800 items.
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
Then she admitted that maybe she should do some of her own research on her own time.
I know damn well she was thinking of Little Earthquakes, but that's one thing she's going to have to figure out on her own, after hours and hours of sifting through our 1,800 items with the word "little" in the title.
Then again, since the cover of that book was not issued with a picture of the ocean on it, she might never admit she was wrong about all of it. Nor will she ever read the book she seeks.
My only consolation is that it will probably drive her completely nuts.
And that gives me a little earthquakes of pleasure.
2 comments:
But what if I'm always right? Can I insist then?
I AM always right! I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken...
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